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There’s no doubt that your parents have survived frightening world events, whether that was World War II, the war in Vietnam, nuclear threat, illness, poverty, civil unrest, or all of the above. However, the use of the word “unprecedented” regarding what’s happening now is not an exaggeration. And they may not understand it all or what they should do, not because they aren’t wise, but because the news has been confusing to interpret.

As of 4pm on March 17th, the number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 across the United States was only 7,043 cases across the United States with 95 confirmed deaths from the virus. And this doesn’t sound like that many, or seem to warrant the kind of lock-in that we need in order to stop the spread. So, if your parents are seeing these numbers, they may not be taking the need to stay home seriously.

This video from Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof, makes the case quite clearly about why we need to stay home, even if we aren’t afraid of getting sick ourselves.

When we first became aware of COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, there were several TV pundits and other authority figures saying that the virus was just another version of the flu. We’ve learned a lot more about the seriousness of COVID-19 in the past few days, and the current advice is for people to stay home, particularly for the next two weeks, in order to “flatten the curve” and slow the spread.

It seems, though, that many people of the older generation may have stepped away from the news, often in the name of not giving in to panic and stress. If your parents continue to meet friends for lunch, go to work, and attend crowded events, you may be looking for support on how to get them to stay home.

By the time you get this, they may have no choice but to stay home, as some state’s are already doing formal lock-down/quarantine “shelter in place” mandates. But, if your parents live somewhere that’s not the case, here’s how we recommend you speak with them now.

Get curious about what they have heard, what they are frustrated about, and what they are skeptical about. Take note that many people are frustrated with lines at the grocery store, toilet paper hoarding, and the hysteria of the crowds around them. Your parents may not want to feel like they are one of “those people.” Assure them that taking some precautions, especially staying home, is completely reasonable and can be done in a non-panicked way. Make sure to repeat back their concerns to them and make them feel heard and believed rather than heaping all of your own fears onto them.

Also, get real with them about their needs. Consider that your mom may be concerned about getting her hair and nails done, and while this may not be a big deal to you, it likely is to her. Consider how you can support her to make alternative arrangements during this time, or reassure her that she looks beautiful even without her regular hair appointment on the books.

Share articles and news with them that state the facts, soberly, like this one. Your parents might already have a good understanding about how viruses spread in general. They may already know the basics of how important it is for them to wash their hands. But if they don’t already know, talk to them about *why* physical distancing is important, really to save the lives of people beyond themselves, if they don’t feel personally at risk.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Last week, we shared the first part of this series on the dangers of do-it-yourself estate planning. Here, we’ll look at how online legal documents can even put your minor children at risk. 

Given how far web-based technology has evolved, you might think online legal document services like LegalZoom® and WillsandTrusts.com have advanced to the point where they’re a suitable alternative to having your estate plan prepared by a lawyer.

After all, you’ve been able to prepare and file your taxes online for years, so what makes estate planning so much different? Aren’t lawyers using the very same forms you find on these document websites?

This kind of reasoning is exactly what do-it-yourself (DIY) planning services would like you to believe—but it’s far from true. Indeed, relying on generic, fill-in-blank planning documents can be one of the costliest planning mistakes you can make for your loved ones.

Online planning documents may appear to save you time and money, but keep in mind, just because you created “legal” documents doesn’t mean they will actually work when you (or most importantly, the people you love) need them. Without a thorough understanding of how the legal process works and impacts family dynamics upon your death or incapacity, you’ll likely make serious mistakes when creating a DIY plan.

Even worse, these mistakes won’t be discovered until it’s too late—and the loved ones you were trying to protect will be the very ones forced to clean up your mess or get stuck with a huge nightmare. In part one, we discussed the numerous ways DIY estate planning can go wrong, and here we’ll explain how these generic documents can put the people you love most of all—your children—at risk.

Knowing that your DIY plan could fail and force your family into court and conflict is distressing enough. But imagine how you’d feel if you knew that your attempt to save money on your estate plan caused your children to be taken into the care of strangers, even temporarily.

Yet this is exactly what could happen if you rely on a generic will and/or other legal documents you find online to name legal guardians for your kids. In fact, this could happen even if you create a plan with a lawyer who isn’t trained to plan for the unique needs of parents with minor children.

Naming and legally documenting guardians for your kids might seem like a fairly straightforward process, but it entails a number of complexities most people aren’t aware of. Even lawyers with decades of experience typically make at least one of six mistakes when naming long-term legal guardians.

If estate plans created with the assistance of an attorney are likely to leave your children at risk, do you really think that you’re going to get things right on your own?

Some DIY wills allow you to name legal guardians for your kids in the event of your death, and that’s a good start. But does it allow you to name back-up candidates in case your first choice is unable to serve?

If you named a married couple to serve and one of them is unavailable due to injury, death, or divorce, what happens then? Would it still be okay if only one of them can serve as your child’s guardian? And does it matter which one it is?

What would happen if you become incapacitated by illness or injury and are unable to care for your kids? You might assume the guardians named in your DIY will would automatically get custody, but did you know that a will only goes into effect upon your death and does nothing to protect your kids in the event of your incapacity?

Do the guardians you named live far from your home? If so, how long would it take them to make it to your house to pick up your kids: a few days, a few weeks? Who would care for your kids until those guardians arrive? Did you know that without legally binding arrangements for the immediate care of your children, they are likely to be placed with child protective services until those guardians arrive?

Even if you name family who live nearby as guardians, what happens if they are out of town or otherwise can’t get to your kids right away?

And assuming the guardians you named can immediately get to your home to pick up your kids, do they even know where your will is located? How will they prove they’re your children’s legal guardians if they can’t find your planning documents?

These are just a few of the potential complications that could arise if you try to create your own plan naming legal guardians for your kids. And if just one of these contingencies were to occur, your children would more than likely be placed into the care of strangers, even if it’s only for a short period of time.

Seeing all of the things that could go wrong, you should never trust the safety and care of your children to a DIY plan—or for that matter, a plan created by a lawyer unfamiliar with the unique needs of planning for parents of minor children.  To ensure your children are never raised by someone you don’t trust or taken into the custody of strangers, even temporarily, consider creating a Kids Protection Plan®.

The Kids Protection Plan® is a comprehensive system designed specifically to address the inherent gaps in the way most estate plans document legal guardians. And Personal Family Lawyers® like us, licensed by the Family Wealth Planning Institute, creator of the Kids Protection Plan®, are the only ones thoroughly trained to prepare and counsel you through this crucial process.

Guaranteeing your children’s safety is so important, we’ve even created an easy-to-use (and absolutely free) website you can visit right now to get started creating the legal documents naming the long-term guardians you’d want to care for your children if you could not.

If you have minor children at home, you should immediately use this resource to get started. And, yes, it’s DIY, but it’s the bare minimum you need to have in place if you have minor children, and it at least addresses some of the issues written about above, which is more than most DIY programs do.

From there, you can schedule a follow-up visit with us to put the full Kids Protection Plan® in place for you and your family.

The inherent risks of DIY estate plans make them a totally unsuitable option for nearly everyone. Perhaps the only scenario where they might make sense is if you are single and have no—or extremely limited—assets, and you’re just looking to name someone to make your medical and/or financial decisions if ever become incapacitated and are unable to do so for yourself.

Creating those documents is a relatively simple process that should be easy enough to do on your own. However, that’s really the only instance where online legal documents would be sufficient. In practically every other situation, the fill-in-blank forms offered by these companies are so unreliable, they’re often not worth the paper they’re printed on.

The DIY approach might be a good idea if you’re looking to build a new deck for your backyard, but when it comes to estate planning, it’s one of the worst choices you can make. Are you really willing to put your family’s well-being and wealth at risk just to save a few bucks?

If you’ve yet to do any planning, contact us to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session. This evaluation will allow us to determine if a simple will or some other strategy, such as a living trust, is your best option.

If you’ve already created a plan—whether it’s a DIY job or one created with another lawyer’s help—contact us to schedule an Estate Plan Review and Check-Up. We’ll ensure your plan is not only properly drafted and updated, but that it has all of the protections in place to prevent your children from ever being placed in the care of strangers or anyone you’d never want raising them.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Legendary hip hop artist DMX—born Earl Simmons—passed away on April 9 at age 50 after suffering a massive heart attack a week earlier at his home in White Plains, New York. The heart attack was reportedly triggered by a cocaine overdose on April 2, which left the rapper hospitalized in a coma. After a week of lingering in a vegetative state, his family made the decision to remove him from life support.

Despite selling more than 74 million albums and enjoying a wildly successful career in both music and movies, DMX, who died without a will, left behind an estate that some estimates report being millions of dollars in debt. Even though DMX likely died deeply in debt, just weeks after his passing, multiple members of his family, which includes 15 children from nine different women, petitioned the court seeking to become administrators of the late rap star’s estate.

While DMX’s estate may currently be in the red, his loved ones are presumably fighting over the right to control the rap icon’s recording and publishing royalties, which will likely be a lucrative source of future income. In fact, following his death, Billboard reported that DMX’s total royalties, which include the release of a posthumous album, master recording royalties, and licensing opportunities, are worth an estimated $17.7 million.

With so much wealth at stake and so many children, DMX’s failure to create an estate plan will likely mean his loved ones will be stuck battling each other in court for years to come. And perhaps no one stands to suffer more than DMX’s fiancée, Desiree Lindstrom.

DMX and Desiree, who were engaged in 2019, had been together for seven years, and she gave birth to his 15th child, a boy named Exodus Simmons, in 2016. However, because the two were never married and DMX did not create any estate planning providing for her, Desiree will likely inherit nothing from her late fiance’s fortune.

While DMX’s case is certainly tragic, the lack of estate planning is all too common among famous musicians—Prince, Jimi Hendrix, and Bob Marley all died without a will. More recently, the legendary “Queen of Soul,” Aretha Franklin, who died in 2018, left behind four different handwritten wills, and more than three years after her death, her four adult sons are still fighting each other in court over her estate.

We cover DMX’s story and others like it in hopes that they will inspire you to do right by your loved ones by creating a proper estate plan. Death comes for us all, often when we’re least expecting it. And without any planning in place, you are forcing your loved ones to endure a costly, possibly conflict-filled, and in all cases, an unnecessary legal process resulting in the loss of wealth and assets you’ve worked so hard to create.

Furthermore, estate planning is crucial even if you have far less wealth than the late rap icon. After all, given DMX’s lucrative recording and publishing royalties, his children will likely still receive an inheritance, while similar estate planning failures would almost certainly wipe out a smaller estate.

With this in mind, we’ll discuss DMX’s estate planning mistakes and how those errors have impacted his family, his fortune, and his end-of-life medical treatment. From there, we’ll explain how proper planning could have spared DMX, his kids, and his fiancée from their tragic circumstances, and then we’ll outline the steps you can take to make certain that your loved ones never have to endure such a dire outcome.

Emerging on the scene in the late 1990s, DMX quickly became one of rap’s biggest stars, cranking out chart-topping hits like “Party Up” and “X Gon’ Give it to Ya.” Between 1998-2003, DMX cemented his legendary status in hip hop, with an unprecedented string of five consecutive number-one albums which would earn him three Grammy Awards. From there, DMX parlayed his success in the music biz into an impressive career in movies, starring in a number of hit films, such as Romeo Must Die and Cradle 2 The Grave.

While DMX experienced amazing success in his professional life, his personal life was plagued by serious financial and legal struggles as well as substance abuse. Although his albums earned him more than $2.3 million between 2010 and 2015, DMX filed for bankruptcy in 2013, claiming to have just $50,000 in assets and owing more than $1 million in debt to numerous creditors. The bankruptcy court, however, denied DMX’s claim, leaving him on the hook for his debts.

The majority of DMX’s money problems were caused by the fact that he fathered so many children with so many different women, each of whom relied on the hip-hop icon for financial support. DMX married his childhood friend Tashera Simmons in 1999, and they had four children together and were married for nearly 15 years until their divorce in 2014. However, DMX had numerous affairs during their marriage, some of which resulted in children.

In 2004, DNA testing confirmed that DMX fathered at least one child from these extramarital affairs, and this led to the rapper being sued for unpaid child support. As a result, DMX was ordered to pay $1.5 million to the child’s mother, Monique Wayne.

But that wasn’t the end of DMX’s problems with child support. In his 2013 bankruptcy filing, DMX listed back child support as his priority debt, totaling roughly $1.24 million to multiple women. In addition to outstanding child support payments, DMX’s financial troubles were exacerbated by his failure to pay income taxes, which eventually landed the rap star in prison.

In 2017, DMX pled guilty to $1.7 million in tax fraud, and the court ordered him to spend a year in prison. Although DMX was released from prison in 2019, at the time, he still owed $2.3 million in income taxes. In September 2020, the IRS filed a tax lien against DMX and ex-wife Tashera Simmons to collect the remaining debt, and upon his death, DMX reportedly still owed the IRS nearly $700,000, according to Radar.

DMX’s troubles as an adult likely stemmed from his abusive childhood. Born to a teenage mother, the rapper was reportedly beaten by both his mother and her many boyfriends as early as age 6, according to the New York Post. At age 10, DMX was kicked out of school for fighting, and a short time later, he was ordered to spend 18 months in a home for troubled youth. By age 14, DMX was living on the streets, where he was first introduced to drugs.

In a 2020 interview with podcaster Talib Kweli, DMX said that his issues with addiction started at age 14, when his 30-year-old rap mentor offered him a joint that DMX didn’t know was laced with crack cocaine. Following that experience, DMX said he began using drugs as a coping strategy to deal with his pain, and sadly, the habit followed him until his final days.

Over the years, DMX entered drug rehabilitation on multiple occasions (his latest rehab stint was in 2019), and the Grammy winner was even forced to cancel an entire tour due to his recurring battles with addiction—which would ultimately claim his life. Toxicology reports showed that the DMX died of a cocaine-induced heart attack that cut off circulation to his brain, leaving the rapper brain dead. Although DMX’s heart was revived at the hospital, he remained in a coma until his mother ultimately made the decision to remove him from life support a week later.

While DMX’s mother, many of his children, his fiance, and ex-wife were able to visit him in the hospital before he passed away and were all reportedly on good terms, just a few weeks later, several of those same relatives were in court battling one another for control of the late rapper’s estate. And as we’ll see next week, with so many potential heirs and such big money on the line, the fight over DMX’s estate is likely to get quite ugly.

Don’t let what happened to DMX’s family happen to your loved ones. Whether you have no estate plan at all or have a plan that needs review—even one created by another lawyer—contact us, as your Personal Family Lawyer®, today. With our support and guidance, we can ensure that your loved ones will always be provided for and stay out of court and out of conflict no matter what happens to you.

Next week in part two of this series, we’ll discuss how DMX’s lack of estate planning created a nightmare for his family, and then we’ll outline the steps you can take to ensure your loved ones don’t suffer a similar fate.

This article is a service of Christine Faulkner, Personal Family Lawyer®. We do not just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

In the first part of this series, we discussed one of the most frequent causes for dispute over your estate plan. Here, we’ll look at another leading cause for dispute and offer strategies for its prevention.

No matter how well you think you know your family, you can never predict how they’ll behave when you die or if you become incapacitated.

Family dynamics are complicated and prone to conflict during even the best of times, but when tragedy strikes a key member of the household, minor tensions and disagreements can explode into bitter conflict. And when access to money is involved, the potential for discord is exponentially increased.

No one wants to believe their family would ever end up battling one another in court over inheritance issues or a loved one’s life-saving medical treatment, but we see it all the time.

This is especially true for those who rely on do-it-yourself estate planning documents found online.

The good news is you can dramatically reduce the odds of such conflict by enlisting the support of an experienced lawyer to assist you in creating your estate plan. Even the best set of documents will be unable to anticipate and navigate the complex emotional dynamics that make up your life and family, but we can.

Last week, we discussed one of the most common reasons for dispute, poor fiduciary selection, which involves selecting the wrong trustee, executor, or guardian for your kids. Today, we focus on another leading catalyst for conflict: contests to the validity of your will and/or trust.

The validity of your will and/or trust can be contested in court for a few different reasons. If such a contest is successful, the court declares your will or trust invalid, which effectively means the document(s) never existed in the first place. Obviously, this would likely be disastrous for everyone involved, especially your intended beneficiaries.

However, just because someone disagrees with what he or she received in your will or trust doesn’t mean that person can contest it. Whether or not the individual agrees with the terms of your plan is irrelevant; it is your plan after all. Rather, he or she must prove that your plan is invalid (and should be thrown out) based on one or more of the following legal grounds:

• The document was improperly executed (signed, witnessed, and/or notarized) as required by state law.
• You did not have the necessary mental capacity at the time you created the document to understand what you were doing.
• Someone unduly influenced or coerced you into creating or changing the document.
• The document was procured by fraud.

Furthermore, only those individuals with “legal standing” can contest your will or trust. Just because someone was intimately involved in your life, even if they’re a blood relative, doesn’t automatically mean they can legally contest your plan.

Those with the potential for legal standing generally fall into two categories:

1) Family members who would inherit, or inherit more, under state law if you never created the document.
2) Beneficiaries (family, friends, and charities) named or given a larger bequest in a previous version of the document.

Solution: There are times when family members might contest your will and/or trust over legitimate concerns, such as if they believe you were tricked or coerced into changing your plan by an unscrupulous caregiver. However, that’s not what we’re addressing here.

Here, we’re addressing—and seeking to prevent—contests that are attempts by disgruntled family members and/or would-be beneficiaries seeking to increase the benefit they received through your plan. We’re also seeking to prevent contests that are a result of disputes between members of blended families, particularly those that arise between spouses and children from a previous marriage.

First off, working with an experienced lawyer is of paramount importance if you have one or more family members who are unhappy—or who may be unhappy—with how they are treated in your plan. This need is especially critical if you’re seeking to disinherit or favor one part of your family over another.

Some of the leading reasons for such unhappiness include having a plan that benefits some children more than others, as well as when your plan benefits friends, unmarried domestic partners, and/or other individuals instead of, or in addition to, your family. Conflict is also likely when you name a third party trustee to manage an adult beneficiary’s inheritance because he or she is likely to be negatively affected by the sudden windfall of money.

In these cases, it’s vital to make sure your plan is properly created and maintained to ensure these individuals will not have any legal ground to contest your will or trust. One way you can do this is to include clear language that you are making the choices laid out in your plan of your own free will, so no one will be able to challenge your wishes by claiming your incapacity or duress.

Beyond having a sound plan in place, it’s also crucial that you clearly communicate your intentions to everyone affected by your will or trust while you’re still alive, rather than having them learn about it when you’re no longer around. Indeed, we often recommend holding a family meeting (which we can help facilitate) to go over everything with all impacted parties.

Outside of contests originated by disgruntled loved ones, the potential for your will or trust to cause dispute is significantly increased if you have a blended family. If you are in a second (or more) marriage, with children from a prior marriage, there’s an inherent risk of dispute because your children and spouse often have conflicting interests.

To reduce the likelihood of dispute, it’s crucial that your plan contain clear and unambiguous terms spelling out the beneficiaries’ exact rights, along with the rights and responsibilities of executors and/or trustees. Such precise terms help ensure all parties know exactly what you intended.

If you have a blended family, it’s also essential that you meet with all affected parties while you’re still alive (and of sound mind) to clearly explain your wishes in person. Sharing your intentions and hopes for the future with your spouse and children is key to avoiding disagreements over your true wishes for them.

The best way to deal with estate planning disputes is to do everything possible to make sure they never occur in the first place. This means putting in place planning strategies aimed at anticipating and avoiding common sources of conflict.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.