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February 14, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

Maybe you’ve heard that before investing in a professional service you should “get three estimates.”

While often this is wise advice, it’s actually a bad idea when it comes to estate planning.

In this article, I explain why and how you can ensure you get the most efficient and affordable plan possible for your family without shopping estate planning lawyers the way you may think.

Why “Get Three Estimates” Doesn’t Protect Your Family

Let’s begin with why “getting three estimates” for an estate plan doesn’t work to actually get you what you want.

First and foremost, this recommendation assumes that you should be shopping for an estate plan based on cost alone and that you understand exactly what you are shopping for and how to evaluate those estimates.

Shopping for an estate plan with the idea of spending the lowest amount possible is the fastest path to leaving your family with an empty set of documents (maybe in a beautiful binder, but not worth the paper they are printed on) that won’t actually work for your family when your loved ones need it.

Unfortunately, we see the negative effects of cheap estate planning when family members come to us during a time of grief with that fancy binder that sat on the shelf for years sending out signals of false security, full-of-out of date estate planning documents. They often find themselves stuck in court or conflict even though that’s exactly what their loved ones thought they had paid someone to avoid for them.

An Illustrative Story For You About A $3,000 Plan That Didn’t Work

By Alexis Neely, America’s Family Business Lawyer™

“When I was in law school, my father-in-law died. He had spent $3,000 to work with a law firm in Florida to create estate planning documents that he was told would keep us out of court and out of conflict with his ex-wife when he died or if he became incapacitated.

“He received a nice thick set of documents, a fancy binder, and peace of mind. He put the binder on his shelf, never looked at it again and never heard from his lawyer again. He died thinking it was all handled.

“You can imagine our surprise then when after his death, we were stuck dealing court and his ex-wife – the exact things my father-in-law had spent good money to protect us from having to deal with.

“It turns out that his fancy set of documents had never been updated so they were completely out of date. And his assets weren’t even titled in the name of his estate plan.

“I thought, ‘For sure this must have been malpractice.’

“But after going to work at one of the best law firms in the country and then surveying hundreds of other lawyers just to confirm, I found out that this was not malpractice at all.

“This was common practice.

“Lawyers everywhere were putting in place form documents that they know won’t work when their clients’ families need them, not because they are bad people or bad lawyers but because that’s how they were trained.

“This model typically involves form documents, no updating of the documents or regular communication with clients once the plan was done, no inventory of the assets to ensure that all assets could be found after the death or incapacity of a loved one, and not ensuring that assets are titled properly to make sure the plan even worked.

“On top of that, I later discovered that the plans lawyers were putting in place for families with minor kids at home had huge gaps that left the kids at risk of being taken out of their home and into protective custody while the named guardians were located.

“This happened even at the best law firm in the country, which I worked at for three years after law school.

“When I left to start my own law firm, I made a commitment to create something truly meaningful for my clients: plans that would actually work when their families need it to give you true peace of mind, all through a compassionate process that supports my clients to not just plan for death, but to become better parents, better business owners, and better community citizens during their lives.

“Now Family Business Lawyers™ across the globe are being trained the right way to plan for families and be there for your loved ones when you can’t be.”

5 Reasons To Avoid The Same Mess

Here are five reasons why shopping around for the cheapest estate plan is likely to leave you with a plan that won’t work for your family … and will leave them with a big mess instead.

The least expensive plan is not worth the paper it’s written on once you’ve left the attorney’s office. Your life changes, the law changes, and your assets change over time. Your estate plan needs to keep up with those changes. The truth of the matter is that a lawyer who charges only a few hundred dollars for documents cannot afford to provide anything more than documents. There simply is not room for the lawyer to provide the updating and regular check-ins that need to happen when you do an estate plan. That business model simply doesn’t work.

Cheap estate plans are often sold by financial professionals or form document companies who are not trained estate planning attorneys. But they are not doing right by your family by selling you something cheap. An attorney who has built a practice to actually serve your family in your best interests cannot support their practice, their clients, and their own family by selling $399 documents. Buyer beware!
Forms and documents won’t be there for your family when you can’t be – you want to leave your loved ones a relationship with a trusted advisor with whom you have built relationship during your lifetime and who your family has already met and already trust.
You get what you pay for and unfortunately it’s your family who pays the price. As you read in Alexis’ story above, her father-in-law died after paying $3,000 for an estate plan (not cheap) so that his family would not have to deal with the probate court or his ex-wife after his death, and yet that’s exactly what happened when he died. Why? Because the law firm was a traditional forms-and-documents firm that only put documents in place, but didn’t make sure his assets were owned in the right way or that his plan stayed up to date over time. You might think that is malpractice, but unfortunately it is not. It’s common practice and it leaves your family at risk if and when something happens to you!
An estate plan isn’t a “set it and forget it” kind of thing. You estate plan needs to stay up to date with changes in your life, your assets and the law. There is currently a massive amount of money sitting in state departments of unclaimed property throughout the U.S. This typically because surviving family members of a loved one lose track of it or doesn’t even know about it.

These are five ways your family loses out if you shop around for the cheapest estate plan rather than getting in place a plan that actually works for the people you love.

Plus, there is a risk that if you simply keep shopping around, you will never actually get around to putting a plan in place at all.

False Security Or Genuine Peace Of Mind?

If what you want is the false security of a cheap estate plan, go online and do it yourself. Chances are, you haven’t done that because you know that’s risky business and you love your family too much for that.

It’s the same way when you are shopping around town for the cheapest plan possible.

Because you love your family, you don’t actually want the cheap plan. You want the plan that is going to work for your the people you love when they need it.

In the meantime, if you already have an estate plan in place and you are concerned you may have gotten a cheap plan that will not actually serve your family when they need it most, contact us for a plan review.

We don’t just draft documents – we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge. Schedule online today.

February 13, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

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February 13, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

With societal attitudes about love, marriage, and parenting constantly evolving, our perception of what constitutes “family” is becoming more and more flexible. As family structures become more varied, we’re learning that when it comes to raising children, the marital status, gender, and even relationship status of the parents matters less and less.

What children need most are parents who are committed to loving and supporting them. Whether or not the parents have a romantic relationship with one another is immaterial to their ability to raise healthy and happy kids, so long as their co-parenting relationship is solid.

One new child-rearing trend that highlights this notion is platonic parenting. Also known as co-parenting, platonic parenting involves two or more people who agree to raise children together without a romantic connection. And we are discovering this nontraditional style of parenting can produce children who are just as well adjusted as those raised in a happily married household.

An alternative arrangement

Platonic parenting was pioneered within the LGBTQ community, where until recently same-gender couples couldn’t legally marry and didn’t have the court system to make up rules for them about post-breakup parenting. Following a romantic split, they were forced to create innovative, outside-the-box parenting arrangements on their own.

More recently, platonic parenting has spread to married couples looking to more effectively raise their children following divorce. By maintaining an amicable and cooperative relationship—sometimes even cohabitating—a couple whose romantic connection has dissolved can not only spare their children the trauma of divorce, but they may also find the arrangement is much healthier for them. Indeed, couples who stay unhappily married for the children’s sake often find the arrangement can be even more harmful to the whole family than a clean divorce.

And now, more and more people are choosing to raise children together using platonic parenting, without ever having a romantic relationship to begin with.

Parenting partnerships

Platonic parenting is particularly enticing for those who find themselves moving through their prime child-rearing years in the absence of a romantic relationship. For people who want to be parents, but aren’t interested in having a romantic partner, or simply haven’t found the right one yet, platonic parenting can be the ideal solution.

While raising a child on your own is perfectly acceptable, child rearing is an immense responsibility that lasts a lifetime. To help diffuse the tremendous demands parenting involves—and avoid the pressure to rush into romance—some individuals are turning to close friends in search of a co-parent.

And those who can’t find a suitable co-parent among their existing network of friends can use a number of websites dedicated to platonic parenting matchmaking. Websites like FamilyByDesign, CoParents.com, and Modamily enable prospective parents around the world to connect with one another to start a family.

Typically these arrangements involve conceiving through artificial insemination or in-vitro fertilization, and then raising the child in a platonic partnership. Some co-parents live separately and share custody, while others live together under the same roof like a traditional family.

There are even cases where the arrangement involves three or more platonic parents raising children together. Indeed, with today’s legal structures, people of all genders and sexual orientation are entering into a variety of platonic parenting relationships, putting a new spin on the notion of a blended family.

While platonic parenting might seem highly atypical and even controversial, given all of the work that goes into loving and raising children, it only makes sense that some would want to make parenting a team effort.

Planned parenthood

Just like any parenting arrangement, platonic parenting requires massive levels of trust, communication, and planning. The first step of the new partnership is for all parties to come up with a solid legal agreement governing the financial commitments and living situation.

Other issues to work out include how to handle new romantic relationships, if/how to incorporate platonic partners into family gatherings, along with all sorts of other basic ground rules. You’ll also need to talk about how to discuss the arrangement with any existing children and other family members, so everyone understands exactly what this new life will entail.

Create a legal foundation

With so many important agreements to be made, those seeking to create a platonic parenting arrangement should seek legal counsel at the outset of the relationship. We specialize in helping you navigate these types of non-traditional partnerships, and we offer a wide array of estate planning tools to help define the legal rights and responsibilities of each individual involved.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

February 11, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

If you were to suddenly die today, would your loved ones know how to quickly find your estate planning documents? Would they know how to access all of your financial accounts? How about your insurance policies? What about your login and password info to all of your digital assets?

One crucial part of estate planning that frequently gets overlooked is ensuring your loved ones can easily locate all of your planning documents and other key assets upon your death or incapacity. One simple way to handle this important task is to create a “When I Die” file. According to A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death, this is a “findable file, binder, cloud-based drive, or even a shoebox where you store estate documents and meaningful personal effects.”

This new book, authored by Shoshana Berger and BJ Miller, was recently excerpted in TIME magazine, and the excerpt discussed the importance of creating such a file in order to “save your loved ones incalculable time, money, and suffering” upon your death.

We agree with Berger and Miller, and would add that this file is every bit as important in the event of your potential incapacity, not just your death—and perhaps even more so. We also offer some additional guidance here about how to ensure your “When I Die” file provides maximum efficiency and effectiveness for the people you love.

Death can be a logistical nightmare

Following the death of her elderly father, Berger learned first-hand how agonizing it can be to not have a “When I Die” file. Though her father made his will and trust easily accessible, Berger and her sister spent nearly two years tracking down his other planning documents, assets, and finalizing his affairs.

Berger recalls “sleuthing through his file cabinet and mail and requesting what seemed like a mountain of duplicate death certificates to prove to various companies that he had actually died.”

Berger recommends that in addition to creating your “When I Die” file, you should also call your internet, cable, cell phone providers (as well and any other companies that bill you on an ongoing basis) and add your partner or children as joint owners. Unless you add a loved one’s name to these accounts, Berger says those you leave behind could be in for a torturous ordeal.

“If billing accounts are not in both your and a loved one’s name, your survivors will end up spending hours… begging bureaucrats to shut them down or convert the accounts to their name so they can manage them,” she says. “Think of every frustrating call you’ve had with your cell provider, and then multiply it by 10.”

Beyond burdening your loved ones with needless work and expense, if your planning documents, such as wills, prenuptial agreements, and insurance policies, can’t be located, it will be as if they never existed. The same goes for valuable assets like stocks, bank accounts, and other financial property no one knows about.

Given this, you should make sure your “When I Die” file contains an updated inventory of all your assets and their location. And don’t forget to include your online property in this inventory.

Don’t forget your digital assets

When it comes to digital assets like cryptocurrency, email, photos, video, and social media, your loved ones must not only be able to locate these items, they must also know how to access them. Given this, you should include any related login and password information in your “When I Die” file, along with detailed instructions about how to get into the accounts.

If you store your file online, password management apps like LastPass can greatly simplify this effort. In fact, we highly recommend you scan and upload copies of ALL the items in your “When I Die” file to the cloud and store them online. This not only makes your file much easier to access, it also prevents it from being destroyed in a fire, flood, or other natural disaster.

What to include in your file

Because the TIME excerpt only includes a partial collection of the items Berger and Miller suggest including in your “When I Die” file (their book has the full list), we’ve added a few items to their list below to provide a more detailed inventory.

An updated inventory of all your assets and their location, including password and access info for all digital assets
An advance healthcare directive
A will and living trust (with certificate of trust)
Marriage or divorce certificate(s)
Instructions for your funeral and final disposition
An ethical will explaining why you made the choices you did in your real will
Letters, cards, photos, and other treasured sentimentals
If you have minor children, a Kids Protection Plan naming long and short-term guardians, along with detailed care instructions for both

Get your affairs in order—before it’s too late

Each family is unique, so this is just a minimum of what can be included in your “When I Die” file. We have systems in place to help ensure all of your assets are properly inventoried throughout your lifetime for the utmost convenience and care of those you love most.

And because death or incapacity can strike at any moment, don’t wait to get your affairs in order. If you do, your loved ones might experience the same lengthy ordeal Berger did when her dad died.

February 10, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

Setting up a trust fund for your children can ensure that the money you are leaving behind for them is taken care for them, in the way that you want. But your efforts in completing this important, yet somber task can be ruined by making one of these common mistakes.

Leaving Assets Outright to Kids

One of the worst things you can do is to do nothing, which means that whatever you are leaving behind will go to your children outright, unprotected and directly to them when they turn 18. But, worse than that, it means that a Court will decide who handles the assets for them (and whoever is named as their guardian) before they turn 18. And, it’s very likely that those assets will not be used in the way you want. On top of that, if a professional Trustee is appointed, the costs of handling the assets could drain what’s left for your kids, quickly.

Not Carefully Choosing a Trustee

Even parents who do the right thing and set up a trust to hold what’s being left behind for their kids sometimes do not think carefully enough about who the Trustee should be taking care of the assets. Do you want one trustee or a co-trustee who can ensure the funds are well managed? Choosing more than one can provide some accountability for how the funds are used.

Not Properly Protecting Assets Left In Trust

Another mistake parents make when setting up a trust is distributing the assets out of the trust direct to their children at specific ages or stages, instead of holding those assets in a flexible lifetime trust that will protect their kids’ inheritance from future divorces, creditors or accidental lawsuits.

Unfortunately, most lawyers do not understand how to use trusts to establish this kind of vital protection for the inheritance you are leaving behind. And they may even suggest to you that it’s not necessary, if you have a smaller estate. I believe that even when you are leaving behind a small amount of assets, protecting those assets and teaching your children how to grow them (instead of squander them) can be the seed of a huge turning point for many generations to come. It would be my honor to share more about this with you during a Family Wealth Planning Session.

Neglecting To Fix Beneficiary Designations

Lastly, make sure your insurance policies are directed to your trust and not directly to your children. This is a huge mistake we repeatedly see. Naming minors or even young adults as the beneficiaries of insurance and retirement accounts is a sure-fire way to ensure they are not used in the way you want and unnecessarily get stuck in a court process, which you can easily avoid.

A trust can both provide for and protect your children after your death, as well as ensure you are cared for the way you want in the event of your incapacity. If you’re ready to set up an effective plan for your family’s well-being and care, start by sitting down with us. As your Personal Family Lawyer®, we’ll help you protect, preserve and enhance what matters most. Schedule online.

February 7, 2021 by Cava Faulkner

Although we initially planned to run part two of last week’s post on Aretha Franklin’s failed estate plan, in honor of Mother’s Day, we’re running this special feature instead. We’ll return with the second half of the late singer’s planning mistakes next week.

In case you missed all of the commercials for floral arrangements that have been airing recently, here’s one final reminder: Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 9th.

But before you spend your money on something that will wilt and die within a week or two, consider getting Mom a truly priceless gift—a plan for her kids (or grandkids) that provides her with peace of mind that, when something should happen to her and dad, her children will always be in the care of the people she knows, loves, and trusts.

It Can Happen to You

No one likes to think that something unexpected might happen to them, even though we know it happens to others just like us. Think about it, there’s an accident, the kids are at home with the babysitter, and mom and dad don’t make it home from their night out.

When they fail to arrive, the babysitter calls and calls, but no one is there to answer. The police are summoned, but because no one has the written, legal authority to take the children while the authorities figure out what to do, the kids have to be taken into the care of Child Protective Services, while the authorities figure out what to do.

Then there are other stories, where children are placed in the care of people they barely know, or that the parents wouldn’t choose, just because they are a blood relative, and the parents didn’t have a plan in place that dictated who should take on this incredible responsibility.

In still other cases, we see the fallout from family fights that are created when mom and dad didn’t make a plan, and the family couldn’t agree on who should care for the kids, who get caught in the middle of an ugly feud. Or in the worst cases, when there is no family available, we see kids get placed with and raised by total strangers.

In every case, when mom and dad don’t decide and legally document who should care for their kids, it’s left up to a judge to figure out and make the decision.

Don’t Leave the Decision Up to a Judge

We know that neither you nor Mom would ever want this to happen to your children (or grandchildren, nieces, or nephews). And this is where a Kids Protection Plan® can ensure that it never does.

Developed by a nationally recognized attorney, who’s a mom herself, the Kids Protection Plan® provides moms (and dads) with the legal planning tools needed to make sure there is never a question about who will take care of their kids if they are in an accident or suffer some other life-threatening calamity. The full plan includes all of the following:

Legal documents to name short-term guardians, who can be there immediately for your children, so they’ll never be taken into the arms of strangers or anyone you wouldn’t want. Not even for a moment.
Letters to the people you name as short-term guardians, so the people you’ve named will know just what to do if called upon.
Instructions to everyone who takes care of your kids as to exactly what to do if you are in an accident, so there’s never any question about what to do or who to call.
Legal documents to name long-term guardians, who will raise your children just as you would, so there is no family feuding over your children.
Letters to your long-term guardians, letting them know exactly what to do if called upon.
Instructions and guidelines for your long-term guardians on how you want your kids to be raised to ensure your kids are raised with your values, insights, stories, and experience.
Medical powers of attorney for your minor children, so the next time they travel without you or you travel without them, you know they’ll get the medical care they need.
A custom, personalized I.D. card for your wallet stating that you have minor children at home and who should be contacted if you are in an accident.

Put Your Kids Protection Plan® In Place Today

As a Personal Family Lawyer®, I am one of the few lawyers in the world licensed to prepare a Kids Protection Plan® for your family. Even if Mom has already taken steps to create a basic plan, such as having a will that names legal guardians for her children, that’s likely not enough to truly protect your kids.

In fact, we’ve found that in most cases, even parents who worked with a lawyer to name legal guardians have made at least one of six common mistakes that leave their children at risk. These mistakes are made, because unfortunately, most lawyers simply don’t know what’s necessary for planning and ensuring the well-being and care of minor children.

However, as your Personal Family Lawyer®, we’ve been trained by the author of the best-selling book, Wear Clean Underwear!: A Fast, Fun, Friendly, and Essential Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents, on legal planning for the unique needs of families with minor children at home. This is such an important task that we’ve created a totally free website, where you and Mom can visit to get her plan started right now.

Here’s How To Get Started

⇒ If Mom hasn’t taken any action at all, we’ve created an easy-to-use and 100% FREE website, where she can visit to take the first steps to create legal documents naming long-term guardians for her children to ensure that should anything happen to her, her kids would be cared for by the people she would want in exactly the way she would want. Do it here now: https://christine.kidsprotectionplan.com/

Afterward, call us to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session, where we’ll put the full Kids Protection Plan® in place, and determine if there is anything else your family might need to ensure the well-being and care of your children no matter what happens.

⇒ If Mom has already named long-term guardians in her will, either on her own or with a lawyer, as your Personal Family Lawyer® can review her existing legal documents to see whether she has made any of the six common mistakes that could leave her kids at risk, and then revise her plan to ensure the children are fully protected.

Make This Mother’s Day One She’ll Remember Forever

Rather than getting the same-old flowers and card yet again, why not take this Mother’s Day to give Mom a truly priceless gift that not only benefits her, but the entire family. With a Kids Protection Plan®, you can give Mom the reassurance that no matter what happens to her, her children will be raised to adulthood by the people she trusts most, and they’ll never be placed in the care of strangers, not even temporarily. Contact us today to learn more or schedule an appointment.

How “Shopping Around” for An Estate Plan Could Leave Your Family With an Expensive, Unintended Mess