How To Talk To Your Parents and Get Them To Stay Home

There’s no doubt that your parents have survived frightening world events, whether that was World War II, the war in Vietnam, nuclear threat, illness, poverty, civil unrest, or all of the above. However, the use of the word “unprecedented” regarding what’s happening now is not an exaggeration. And they may not understand it all or what they should do, not because they aren’t wise, but because the news has been confusing to interpret.

As of 4pm on March 17th, the number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 across the United States was only 7,043 cases across the United States with 95 confirmed deaths from the virus. And this doesn’t sound like that many, or seem to warrant the kind of lock-in that we need in order to stop the spread. So, if your parents are seeing these numbers, they may not be taking the need to stay home seriously.

This video from Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof, makes the case quite clearly about why we need to stay home, even if we aren’t afraid of getting sick ourselves.

When we first became aware of COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, there were several TV pundits and other authority figures saying that the virus was just another version of the flu. We’ve learned a lot more about the seriousness of COVID-19 in the past few days, and the current advice is for people to stay home, particularly for the next two weeks, in order to “flatten the curve” and slow the spread.

It seems, though, that many people of the older generation may have stepped away from the news, often in the name of not giving in to panic and stress. If your parents continue to meet friends for lunch, go to work, and attend crowded events, you may be looking for support on how to get them to stay home.

By the time you get this, they may have no choice but to stay home, as some state’s are already doing formal lock-down/quarantine “shelter in place” mandates. But, if your parents live somewhere that’s not the case, here’s how we recommend you speak with them now.

Get curious about what they have heard, what they are frustrated about, and what they are skeptical about. Take note that many people are frustrated with lines at the grocery store, toilet paper hoarding, and the hysteria of the crowds around them. Your parents may not want to feel like they are one of “those people.” Assure them that taking some precautions, especially staying home, is completely reasonable and can be done in a non-panicked way. Make sure to repeat back their concerns to them and make them feel heard and believed rather than heaping all of your own fears onto them.

Also, get real with them about their needs. Consider that your mom may be concerned about getting her hair and nails done, and while this may not be a big deal to you, it likely is to her. Consider how you can support her to make alternative arrangements during this time, or reassure her that she looks beautiful even without her regular hair appointment on the books.

Share articles and news with them that state the facts, soberly, like this one. Your parents might already have a good understanding about how viruses spread in general. They may already know the basics of how important it is for them to wash their hands. But if they don’t already know, talk to them about *why* physical distancing is important, really to save the lives of people beyond themselves, if they don’t feel personally at risk.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.